Without me
by AmyBucher
Summary: Kaoru is on the edge of breaking.
1. Chapter 1

Kauro POV.

Me and Hikauro were close. For brothers that is. We were always together with no one else in the world. No one, and we liked it that way. We wanted to keep it that way. But then there was that day. The day that handsome golden-haired boy came up to us. He was no real threat to our world, so we saw no problem with joining his weird little club. Until that 'weird little club' changed us and how everyone looked upon us.

Ever since me and my brother joined that 'club', we were known as homosexuals. Everyone thought that we were in love with each other and we had lost our virginity to each other a long time ago. Yes, we did sleep in the same bed. And yes, we normally slept in only our boxers. And yes, we did sleep quite close to each other, closer than other brothers, but we still had our virginity. And yet no one else thought so.

Should I be ashamed to say that we haven't even kissed? Yes, there were those petty kisses that we gave on the check to each other in the host club and sometimes even at home, but never a real kiss. Not one that had our lips on the other's lips that is.

_Would you believe it?_ I smile to myself as I watch Hikauro attempt to flirt with Haruhi.

Haruhi. To me, an invader. To him, love. The first person to enter our world. The first person that I felt soo confused about. I loved her too… but I also hated her. I loved her because… well who couldn't? She was perfect in a non-perfect way. The most perfect way. Smart but dense. Cute but boyish. Friendly but blunt. Slender but modest. Good but bad. She took away my other half. My mirror image. My true self.

_Would you believe it?_ I frown to myself as Haruhi left the classroom with Hikauro's hand on her back. Fan girls squealed as they watched. Leaving me alone in the corner of the other side of the room. I just looked out the window of another sunny day.

I hated Haruhi for taking my precious Hikauro away. Jealousy? Maybe. Probably. Yes. But it was jealousy in a brotherly love way… or something else?

_Would you believe it?_ I take out my notebook and doodle in it, trying to clear my head of confusion.

After all this time could… could **I **be thirsting something more from my brother? My twin? Could it be that those overly affectionate feelings for him were not brotherly love? That I had fallen in love with him? Could it be possible? Yes, it could be… but is it real? Maybe. But what about my attraction to Haruhi? Bisexuality?

_Would you believe it?_ I frown at what I had unconsciously drawn. It was a picture of-

"Kauro!"

My head snaps in the direction of the voice that called me. I recognize it as my other half. My other half that's right behind me trying to see what I had drawn. I quickly close the notebook so Hikauro wouldn't get worried over what I had drawn. I smile up at him.

"What is it Hikauro?" I smile.

"I thought you said that you were coming to club? It's been an hour. Club is nearly over!"

"Ahh…gomen nasai." I stuff my notebook and pencil into my bag.

"Are you all right Kauro?" Hikauro asks me.

"What do you mean? Of course I'm all right!" I lie to him. We face face-to-face with each other. Our height exactly the same.

"You're lying." He states coldly. Angrily.

"Nani? I'm not lying."

"Yes you are. I can always tell when you're lying."

"I'm not lying."

"Kauro, did I do something to upset you?" The scene of Haruhi and Hikauro flash through my mind. I grit my teeth.

"You've done nothing wrong Hikauro."

"I'm sorry for whatever I did Kauro! The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you!" Hikauro nearly screams to me.

"You don't even know what's wrong!" I cry out not thinking of my words. Hikauro now has a triumphant grin on his face. I think of what I said and cry.

_Would you believe it?_

"Kauro!" Hikauro has the most shocked expression on his face when I opened my eyes and saw past the moisture. My tears were real. Not like the ones that I faked in the host club. Only Hikauro knew they were fake in the host club. But I knew he recognized these tears as real tears. Something he hasn't seen in nearly a decade.

"Hikauro!" I cry out in pain and tears as I reached toward his warm body. He holds me in his arms, not saying anything and let's me cry. Just cry and cry and cry. He made no movement or sound of annoyance or boredom, even if I did cry for hours. He just holds me and looks at me with worry, but not wanting to broach the subject and open the wounds in my heart even more. I grasp him tighter holding him to me so he couldn't push me away. The darkness was covering us.

"Hikauro! Please…please….don't …please don't…" I cry into his chest gripping him more.

"What Kauro? What is it that you don't want? Tell me! So I can help!" Hikauro squeezes me and smooth's my hair before putting his hand to my back again.

"I don't wa-want you to!"

"Help?"

"No! I…please do-don't want… please! I want you-!" I stutter.

"What do you not want me to do?" Hikauro is crying to.

"DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!!" I scream into his chest sobbing. I pull his white uniform shirt closer and continue to wail. "Don't leave me by myself! Pl-please!! I want to go back!! To-to when it was the two of us!! No-no one else!! No one to take you away from me!!! I don't want to be alone!! God! Don't leave me!!!!!!" I scream loudly, my voice high pitched from my crying.

Hikauro is shocked. He stiffens and then almost falls over.

"Don't leave me…"I whimper this time. Hikauro holds me firmly and then whispers something into my ear, "I swear, I will never leave you. Damn everyone else in this whole fucked-up world. We'll go back to when we hadn't met Tamaki, ignoring everyone else, if that's what you want. We'll quit the host club and always be together. No one else."

I look up at him through my tears, "No Haruhi?"

Hikauro bit his lip and thought for a minute before saying, "No Haruhi." He looked at me smiling with truthful eyes.

_Would you believe it?_

Hikauro was willing to give everything up for me. Everything! I smile and more tears slip away from my eyes.

"So you don't have any need to cry!" Hikauro wiped away my tears. And then did something that we rarely ever do. He bent down and kissed me on the forehead. A very long kiss. I smile.

"It's okay…" I say when he finally stops the kiss.

"Yes… it's okay Kauro…" Hikauro hugs me again.

"No… you aren't going to give all that up for me."

"What? I'm not giving anything up. The only thing I need is you."

"No! We will stay in the host club and you will continue on with your attempts to impress Haruhi!" I say angrily to him.

"No! You are more important!"

"You are gonna make your life a living Hell if you give all that up."

"Then why did you break down like that?!?!?!"

"Because I needed to know if you loved me enough to hurt yourself!"

"Of course I love you Kauro! I would kill myself if that would make you happy!"

"I feel the exact same way Hikauro." I smile at him as I pull him closer.

"What are you doing Kauro?"

"I need to know something. I need to know the reason why I didn't want you to leave."

"I'm not going to leave you-" but Hikauro's voice stops as he looks into my eyes. His eyes.

_Would you believe it?_

I press my lips softly and tenderly to his. Our lips caress each other. I never wanted this feeling to last. His lips made my lips sooo warm. I wanted to deepen the fist kiss, but resisted and pulled back. Hikauro smiles and so did I. I know he doesn't return the feelings, that his heart belongs to Haruhi, but at the moment I don't care.

We walked back home together, his hand around my waist as I cling to him and let out a few more sobs.

"I may leave you…" Hikauro says hesitantly, "But I'll always come back to you when you need me." I nod my head and whisper, "I know."

I remember the picture I drew. It was of Hikauro. Only Hikauro although I was sitting in the background, by myself.

I still didn't know what my feelings toward Hikauro were. Love or brotherly love?

I didn't care.

That was the night we slept in different beds from across the room from each other.

"I love you Hikauro." I say right before I fall to sleep.

"I love you too Kauro."

END.

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Nothing belongs to me.

Reviews are nice! :D


	2. 2: Don't Leve me

_Sequel to __Would you Believe It? _

_Don't Leave Me…_

Song theme: Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, and Memories by SugarCult. 

Hikauro's POV.

I woke with a start when Kauro jumped on me. 

"Hikauro!" Kauro happily sang as he jumped onto me and my new bed. I jerked upward from the most terrible dream, pushing Kauro to the floor.

"Hey! That wasn't very nice!" Kauro rubbed the his bottom as he stumbled upright. I just stare at him, terrified. 

"_DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!! Don't leave me by myself! Pl-please!! I want to go back!! To-to when it was the two of us!! No-no one else!! No one to take you away from me!!! I don't want to be alone!! God! Don't leave me!!!!!!" _

"_Kauro! Where are you?!?!" I look through the darkness finding no one. I run around with no trace of where I'm heading until I trip._

_And then there he is. Lying there fight in front of me._

"_Don't leave me…" he whimpers as I look upon his d-_

Then Kauro jumped on me and I woke up. I think back to the present and look at my trembling hands gripping the covers of my bed.

"Are you okay Hikauro?" Kauro sits on my bed and puts one of his hands on one of my trembling ones. I stare at his golden eyes.

"_You're lying." I state coldly. Angrily._

"No," I say truthfully remembering what I had said to my twin nearly three months ago.

"What's wrong?" His eyes search mine for an answer. I hold his hand tight.

"I swear, I will never leave you." I whisper so quietly that he can barely hear me. Kauro's face was horrorstruck at the memory of that day in the classroom. I watched him compose his face to a worried smile.

"I know Hikauro."

"No you don't…"

Kauro's face was surprised. He was telling the truth, but I knew that somewhere in the back of his mind that he refused to listen to and had sealed off, doubted my word.

"_Yes you are. I can always tell when you're lying." _

"_I'm not lying."_

"I'm not lying." Kauro put his other hand on my check, and I shake it off.

"I know." I reply and hide my worry with a fake smile. "Let's make sure we tease Milord today!"

Kauro smiles back at me. Though he knows my smile is fake, he doesn't want to press the depressing matter further. He pulls me out of bed and over to our shared closet and takes out our Ouran uniforms. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_Don't leave me…"_

I glance around at the empty bathroom, making sure no one was hiding, and then turn toward the mirror and look into it. What did I see? Myself or Kauro? Neither. 

"_I swear, I will never leave you. Damn everyone else in this whole fucked-up world. We'll go back to when we hadn't met Tamaki, ignoring everyone else, if that's what you want. We'll quit the host club and always be together. No one else."_

I saw neither in the mirror, knowing that I wasn't complete without Kauro. And Kauro wasn't complete without me. I smile and nod, as I remember my dream.

_And then there he is. Lying there fight in front of me._

"_Don't leave me…" he whimpers as I look upon his d-_

I shake my head. I refuse to remember the last of the dream. 

I walk back out of the bathroom to the doors of the host club. The doors that me and Kauro opened for the first time two years ago. Where was he now? 

"Hikauro? Are you waiting for someone?" Haruhi comes up behind me and asks.

I stare back at her.

_He looks up at me through his tears, "No Haruhi?"_

"_No Haruhi." _

"No." I smile at her, "I guess I just I got lost in thought." I open the host club doors. 

Without Kauro.

Kauro's POV.

"Hikauro? Are you waiting for someone?" the cross-dressing girl asks my twin. He stares back at her. 

_I look up at him through my tears, "No Haruhi?"_

_Hikauro bit his lip and thought for a minute before saying, "No Haruhi." _

"No." he smiles at her, "I guess I just got lost in thought ." He opens the host club doors.

Without me.

I just stand there watching as my other half leaves the room I'm in..

"_Don't leave me…"_

What had Hikauro been dreaming?

"_I swear, I will never leave you." _

That scared expression of pain. That expression of which he looked strait at me. It sent shivers down my spine. What had pained him that much? 

It was empty in the halls of where I stood. 

"_I love you Hikauro."_

"_I love you too Kauro."_

_Hikauro's POV._

I looked out the window into a garden. Could Kauro be in the garden? 

"Hikauro?" a worried voice called my name. I looked at Hunny, nearly choking his Bun-bun. Mori sat starring at the shorter blond with the pink bunny.

"What is it, Hunny-senpai?" I ask.

"_We'll go back to when we hadn't met Tamaki, ignoring everyone else, if that's what you want. We'll quit the host club and always be together. No one else."_

"Are you ok?" Hunny asked.

"I'm fine." I lied. Only Kauro could tell when I'm lying.

"Where's Kauro?" Hunny held his bunny closer. 

"Ummm… I don't know…" I rub my head and close my eyes.

"Kauro's been acting strange the past few weeks. Since last month I think." 

He has?

Hunny pats the top of Bun-bun's head and crawls over to Mori. "Is something wrong with Kauro-chan?" 

"_It's okay…" he says when I finally stop the kiss. _

"Ummm… I don't know." 

"_Yes… it's okay Kauro…" I hug him again._

"Did you two have a fight?" Hunny asks with worry. 

"_No… you aren't going to give all that up for me."_

I can't answer. Has Kauro been acting weird? 

"_What? I'm not giving anything up. The only thing I need is you."_

Happier then normal. People act happier when they don't want anyone else to know that they're hurting.

"_No! We will stay in the host club and you will continue on with your attempts to impress Haruhi!" he says angrily to me. _

That gruesome image of Kauro appears in my mind from the nightmare.

"_No! You are more important!" _

Could that be what he's feeling on the inside?

"_You are gonna make your life a living Hell if you give all that up."_

Or was it the future?

"_Then why did you break down like that?!?!?!"_

My face twists into horror. 

"_Because I needed to know if you loved me enough to hurt yourself!"_

Kauro wouldn't dare- couldn't dare!

"_Of course I love you Kauro! I would kill myself if that would make you happy!"_

"KKAAUURROO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I cry and jump out of my seat.

"_I feel the exact same way Hikauro." he smiles at me as he pulls me closer._

"_Of course I love you Kauro! I would kill myself if that would make you happy!"_

"_I feel the exact same way Hikauro." _

Kaouro's POV.

I stare off into the sun. Seeing nothing. Would this make him happy?

"_I swear, I will never leave you." _

The pain-filled my mind so that tears are on the brink of my eyelids. . 

"_What do you mean? Of course I'm all right!" _

"I'm sorry I lied."

_I press my lips softly and tenderly to his. _

"I love you."

"_I feel the exact same way Hikauro." _

"I want you to be happy. More than anything."

"_I may leave you…" Hikauro says hesitantly, "But I'll always come back to you when you need me."_

Tears slide down my face as I take one step forward.

"_DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!! "Don't leave me by myself! Pl-please!! I want to go back!! To-to when it was the two of us!! No-no one else!! No one to take you away from me!!! I don't want to be alone!! God! Don't leave me!!!!!!" _

"I'm sorry Hikauro…" I take another step forward.

"_I swear, I will never leave you. Damn everyone else in this whole fucked-up world. We'll go back to when we hadn't met Tamaki, ignoring everyone else, if that's what you want. We'll quit the host club and always be together. No one else."_

"…I know that if you keep your word…" another step.

"_So you don't have any need to cry!" Hikauro wiped away my tears. _

"…that you won't be happy…" I pause.

"_No! You are more important!"_

"..So I have to break your word for you." I cry. Tears pouring out.

"_Don't leave me…"_

"I love you Hikauro." I cover my face with my hands.

"_Don't leave me…" _

"I hope that you can forgive me." I let my tears fall.

"_Don't leave me…" _

"I love you." I take the last step forward.

"_Don't leave me…" _

Only to think he will now never know this.

"_Don't leave me…" _

"I love you."__

"_Don't leave me…" _

"I love you Hikauro." 

"_I love you too Kauro." _

"I love you." I say for the last time.

"_Don't leave me…" _

Hikauro's POV.

They didn't find him for a long time. Almost two years later, only then did they find him. Some fishermen pulled him out of the river. How long had he been floating in that river? The river that had that bridge that was nearly 40 feet high from the river. And below that bridge, were rapids. Very strong rapids. That bridge that he had… 

I break down and cry. I had gotten the news only minutes ago. That my other half was no longer here. And he was never coming back. Never to smile at me. Never to tease Tamaki. With me again. Never anyone to talk to. Not anymore. No one. There was no one. 

I fall onto the floor. During those two years I tried to believe that he had just run away without me. That he would come back. And we would smile, and play and laugh just like we did when we were 16. Now he was gone.

"No. You're not gone. If you were gone, I'd be gone to, right? Right. Cause you're my other half. A person who's missing half of them self can't live right? Right." I cry out and then laugh. And laugh. "So you aren't gone! You're still alive! You have to be!" 

I crawl around our room tearing everything apart. Looking for my missing twin. 

"Where are you Kauro?!?" I cry out and laugh. "I give up! Where are you?!?!?!"

There was no answer. No one.

"YOU FUCKING LIAR!!!!!!!!" I scream out to Kauro, wherever he may be. "YOU'RE A FUCKING LIAR KAURO!!!!!!!! A FUCKING LIAR!!!!" I scream louder, burying my face in my hands. The tears stain the carpet. I turn my head up towards the ceiling and stand. I scream at the ceiling. "YOU WERE THE ONE WHO MADE ME PROMISE YOU THAT FUCKING PROMISE!!!! AND THEN YOU MAKE ME BREAK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!? I LEFT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND DO SOMETHING AS STUPID AS SUICIDE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!??!!?!? YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I pant and wait for my answer. 

"_DON'T LEAVE ME!!!!! "Don't leave me by myself! Pl-please!! I want to go back!! To-to when it was the two of us!! No-no one else!! No one to take you away from me!!! I don't want to be alone!! God! Don't leave me!!!!!!" _

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU LEFT _**ME **_BY MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAD TO GO JUMP OFF THAT DAMN BRIDGE DIDN'T YOU?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!??!!?!?!?!? YOU HAD TO TAKE YOURSELF AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"

I collapse to the floor waiting for Kauro to answer my questions.

"_Don't leave me…" _

"Don't leave me Kauro…"

_And then there he is. Lying there fight in front of me._

"_Don't leave me…" he whimpers as I look upon his dead body covered in blood. His face pale white. His eyes wide open, but seeing nothing. His mouth open as blood choked his lungs._

"I'm not gonna leave you Kauro…" I whisper in a barely audible voice. And then I remembered what he said to me two months after he had broken down in the classroom.

"_Hikauro. I'm going to ask you to do something important for me."_

"_Like a favor?"_

"_Yea… like a favor…but it also requires for me to put all my trust into you."_

"_I'll do whatever you say."_

"_That's good to hear. You see this box? I don't want you to open it till our 18__th__ birthday, okay?"_

"_Okay."_

I glare at the box. Our 18th birthday was only two weeks away. I trusted him and he killed himself. I took the small box in my hands, and opened it. A note fell out.

Dear Hikauro,

If you are reading this then I am probably dead. I'm sorry. I just want to make you happy. I knew that if I stuck around that you would break your promise, and I just couldn't have that because you then would have beaten yourself up about it. Making you feel worse. So this way you can't break your promise, because I took myself away from you. I'm sorry if it makes you sad.

Do you remember those two songs? Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol and Memories by SugarCult? Those are the two songs stuck in my head right now. I wish we had never fallen apart and could just lie next to each other forever.

My dying wish is that you have to keep living. I don't want you to join me. Not yet. I need time to think, but I look forward to seeing you in heaven. So you better not kill anyone or do anything that makes you go to hell!!!!

I will miss you. I will always love you. I'm sorry I lied to you. Please be happy, for the both of us. Always know that you will always have me, your other half, watching you. I will keep an eye on you so that you don't have to go through everything alone. I hope you can forgive me. I love you. Please enjoy life for the both of us. I love you. I love you. I love you.

"_Don't leave me…"_

END.


	3. 3: nothing

_Sequel to __Would You Believe It? _and _Don't Leave Me…_

Hikauro's POV.

I lay down on the grass that's in my backyard. Our backyard.

"Kauro, do you see that cloud?" I ask my invisible twin. "It looks kinda like a rose doesn't it?" 

There's no answer.

I sigh and stand up. "Haha! Like that song you had stuck in your head! Chasing Cars, was it?" I walk toward the house. Now my house, after my mom and dad went to China to get away from all these memories. 

"What's so bad about the memories here? I like them. The memories. What do you think Kauro?" I ask to no one. It was true. I did like the memories here. I didn't want anything to drift away. 

"Master Kauro?" A butler startled me by calling my name. "Your friend is at the door." And then he left. 

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"Hello Tamaki." I welcome my guest into my house.

"Hey Hikauro. What's up?" Tamaki had calmed down through the years. I sometimes missed his overly-hyper state, but I got over it.

"Nothing much. How about you? I heard you're going to finish college next year. Looking forward to it?"

"I guess." he shrugged. Tamaki had turned 22 just last month!

"Any cute college girls?" I asked giving him a cup of tea. 

"I don't think I'm over 'her' yet." Tamaki smiled. This 'her' was Haruhi, who had been going out with him for 2 years, but that ended three months ago when the blond found out she was cheating on him with Kyoya. "Why? You want me to hook you up?"

"Haha! No, I'm not looking for a date." 

We sit in silence for a while just sipping our tea. It's comfortable silence. No pressure to make conversation. I look up at the older blond. He's been coming over a lot. Probaly cause he lost his best friend. He lost the one person he could trust. The one who could accept him no matter what. Some one who had felt something similar to what I had felt.

"_Kauro's been acting strange the past few weeks. Since last month I think." _

Tamaki noticed me looking at him and smiled. 

"What? Have I gotten more beautiful since the last time we saw each other?" Tamaki raised his eyebrows at the joke and smirked.

"No." I joke back. "Just more ugly."

The golden-haired man stuck his tongue out at me.

There was complete silence for a moment. I thought about the relationship that Tamaki and Haruhi were in for so long. How… close were they?

"Tamaki ,are you a virgin?" I asked bluntly. Tamaki nearly spit out the gulp of tea he had just drank.

"Wh-what?" Tamaki coughed wiping his mouth.

"Have you ever made love to someone?" I asked, just as bluntly.

The blond took another sip of tea, and didn't answer for a full minute.

"…yes…" Tamaki replied between another sip of tea. I wondered if the reason it took him so long to answer was because he was worried about how **I **would react because he knew I had once been in love with who we were talking about. **Once.**

"Hmmm…. That's strange," I said jokingly, "I always thought of you as the bottom."

"What?" the other male raised an eyebrow at me.

"Oh, I know how you and Umehito are." I choked back a laugh. "You kids have fun doing your 'thing'." Him and Umehito were really good friends, surprisingly enough. Their friendship started a few years back, and he knew Tamaki better than I did!

The elder smiled at my joke, and choked back his own laugh.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I am 100 % top."

"Yea, yea. Whatever." 

The blond shook his head and sighed and took another sip of tea.

"Haruhi?" I finally asked.

"…Yea…" Tamaki smiled sadly at his cup.

"How many times did you lose your virginity with her?" I pushed, curious.

"What the Hel…?" he gave me a smiling bewildered look. "I don't count how many times I have sex with someone." 

I smiled and laughed. He laughed too. Then complete silence, once more.

And then, out of nowhere, seemed to get as much energy as a six-year-old on crack and jumped out of his seat.

"What is it Tamaki?" I jump back and almost spill my tea.

"I almost forgot!" Tamaki grabbed his bag and began to rapidly search through it. 

"Forgot what?" 

Tamaki didn't answer for a moment, just kept searching through his bag. I laughed as the blond started to make faces at things that weren't what he was looking for. 

"The reason why I came over!" He continued to search.

"Why would you have a reason for coming over?" I smile. "We're friends, right?"

"Right!" a blissful expression exploded on his face as he found what he had been searching for. He pulled two rectangular packages out from his bag. One orange and the other light blue. "And friends give friends birthday presents!" the blond held out the two packages to me.

"Wow. Thanks." I didn't know what to say as I took the light blue in my hands and the orange one on the table. No one had given me a birthday or Christmas present since the accident… or the not-so-accident. Except my parents who had left 1and ½ years ago. "You do realize our birthday is next week, right?"

"I know." The blond took a sip of tea. "But I'm gonna be out of town next week."

I simply nodded and was about to rip the blue paper off, but Tamaki stopped me .

"What are you doing?!" he stole the present from my hands. "Just because I gave it to you early doesn't mean you can open it early!" He placed the package on the table, next to the orange one. I frowned.

We sat there in silence, and then I had an idea. I leaned toward Tamaki and tried to give him the look he gave Haruhi when he asked her out. Surprisingly, it worked.

"Fine. Tear the wrapping off." The older chuckled and slumped in to his seat.

"Yay! Thank you!" I lunged at the blue present and tore the wrapping off it. I found myself holding a rectangular brown box. Just holding it. Not opening it. I stared at it. Then back to the blue one.

"Is something wrong Hikauro?" I looked up at Tamaki's confused face.

"No. I was just thinking." I smile at him to show him that I'm ok.

"_Are you okay Hikauro?" Kauro sits on my bed and puts one of his hands on one of my trembling ones. I stare at his golden eyes._

I lift the lid from the box and look inside. Inside, there's a mini-bouquet of light blue roses. Beautiful light blue roses. I lifted them from the box and held them carefully.

"Wow… Thank you soo much Tamaki," I was hypnotized by the roses. Tamaki smiled as he watched me. 

"There's something else in the box." Tamaki said and I looked down to see a frame. Just a frame with small circles of orange and blue on it. As I took a closer look, I saw with amazement, that the circles were orange and blue roses. And, at the bottom, my name was carved into it.

"Oh my god…" I mumble. Tamaki's smile looks likes it's going to split his face in two. 

"You like it?" the blond takes another sip of his tea.

"Like it?" I raise an eyebrow at him. "I love it! Thank you so much!" I put my presents on the table and jump at Tamaki to hug him. He almost spills his tea, but then laughs and hugs me back. 

"I'm glad." Tamaki says into my shoulder, but then eyes something on the table. "What about Kauro's present?" 

I get off the older male and glance toward the orange present. "I'll leave it on his bed for him." I walk back toward my seat, across from Tamaki.

"I think Kauro would like it better if you opened it." I turn and face the other boy. My face felt blank. 

"Y-you th-think?" I stutter out. 

"_No. You're not gone. If you were gone, I'd be gone to, right? Right. Cause you're my other half. A person who's missing half of them self can't live right? Right." I cry out and then laugh. And laugh. "So you aren't gone! You're still alive! You have to be!" _

"I think he would." he sets down his tea on the table, picks up the orange present, and sets it in my hands. "If you rather I wasn't here, I understand."

_I break down and cry. I had gotten the news only minutes ago. That my other half was no longer here. And he was never coming back. Never to smile at me. Never to tease Tamaki. With me again. Never anyone to talk to. Not anymore. No one. There was no one. _

"N-no. It's fine." I stutter again as I eye the package in my hands. 

_I saw neither in the mirror, knowing that I wasn't complete without Kauro. And Kauro wasn't complete without me. I smile and nod, as I remember my dream._

"B-but the present isn't for me."

"I think Kauro wants you to open the present for him."

"Why?"

Tamaki didn't answer my question. He couldn't. How could he? 

My hands start trembling as I turn my head back to the orange-papered box. I couldn't. Could I? No. But… No! It's not my gift! So? Kauro knows I would never do anything to hurt him!

"_Hikauro!" he cries out in pain and tears as he reached toward my warm body. I hold him in my arms, not saying anything and let him cry. Just cry and cry and cry. _

I let my hand hover over the box. I close my eyes, grip the orange paper, and tear it away. I open my right eye to see the fistful of bright paper, and then turn my attention back to the object that's sitting in my hands. I glance back up at Tamaki. He's calmly sitting and sipping his tea. 

I let out a small sigh and sit on the chair opposite him. Slowly, carefully, I lift the lid from the box and peer inside. Inside, there was a mini-bouquet of orange roses. I blink and shift them aside to see the same picture frame that was in my blue box. Except, as I look closer, I see that the name _Kauro_ is carved into the bottom of the frame. I blink and smile.

"Thank you Tamaki Suoh." 

"You and Kauro are welcome."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Look Kauro!" I call softly.

Tamaki had left some time ago and I was now in my room. Our room. 

I place the mini-bouquet of blue roses in a glass of water by my bed. And I place the picture frame on the small table by my bed, next to the roses. Now, the picture frame was full. I had placed a picture of the host club from 4 years ago, so that everyone could be in it.

"Do you like Milord's gift?" I ask Kauro. There was no answer.

I prance over to Kauro's bed and place the glass of orange roses on **his** small table next to **his **bed. Then, I place his picture frame next to his roses. The empty picture frame.

"We should thank him the nest time we see him."

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"…_All that I am All that I ever was_

_Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see I don't know where Confused about how as well Just know that these things will never change for us at all If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world_?" I finished singing the song and sighed.

I was once again lying in our backyard. Letting the small blades of grass brush against my exposed skin. I held my right hand away from my body. Palm opened, and then I closed it.

Kauro's POV.

"_This may never could fall apart And I'd be your your sense of I be your memory?Can I be your memory?" _

I sigh as I lay next to my twin in the grass. I stretched out my left hand to hold his hand. Feeling Hikauro's hand close around mine. It felt so nice… and so empty.

"_I love you." I take the last step forward._

"_Don't leave me…" _

_Only to think he will now never know this._

I frown. 

"_I'm sorry I lied."_

"I'm sorry Hikauro…" I say to no one, "I've lied so many times. I'm so sorry."

_I need time to think, but I look forward to seeing you in heaven._

"I won't be seeing you in heaven. Cause I promised that I would look after you."

_Always know that you will always have me, your other half, watching you. I will keep an eye on you so that you don't have to go through everything alone. _

"And in exchange for staying on Earth to look after you, I have to stay on Earth forever, as a ghost."

"_Don't leave me…"_

"But don't worry Hikauro!" I smile at my unknowing brother. "I made a wish! And God said that he would make it true! Cause everyone gets one wish for their next life or for the people still on Earth once they enter heaven! You want to know what I wished for?"

_He opens the host club doors._

_Without me._

"I wished that as soon as you got to heaven you would forget me. Forget that you even had a brother! Much less a twin." I grip Hikauro's hand. "So you won't have to be sad about me anymore."

"_Don't leave me…"_

"_I love you Hikauro." I cover my face with my hands._

"_Don't leave me…" _

"_I hope that you can forgive me." I let my tears fall._

"_Don't leave me…" _

"_I love you." I take the last step forward._

"_Don't leave me…" _

_Only to think he will now never know this._

"_Don't leave me…" _

"_I love you." _

"_Don't leave me…" _

"_I love you Hikauro." _

"Because that's what people do for the people they love." I watch my twin close his eyes as he sings a verse of _Memories_.

"_I may leave you…" Hikauro says hesitantly, "But I'll always come back to you when you need me." _

"And you're the one person I love the most in this world." I grasp his hand tighter…

_Tears slide down my face as I take one step forward._

…and tighter…

_Would you believe it?_

…and tighter…

"_Don't leave me…"_

…and tighter…

"_I love you Hikauro." I say right before I fall to sleep._

…and tighter…

"_I love you too Kauro." _

…and tighter until there's nothing left to hold.

END.


End file.
